Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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