Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
