Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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