Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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