as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You are a genius and a whore.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
