Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
