Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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