he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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