You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we're making bets on your personal life
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize