anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
