Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
