whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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