What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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