you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
