I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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