If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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