im having a threesome with these popsicles
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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