Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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