You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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