Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
