he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
