My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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