kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
