nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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