No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
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