U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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