Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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