oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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