would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
