just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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