forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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