What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
