READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
