like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
