so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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