im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
