He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
