we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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