I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This baby is an asshole
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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