you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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