weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize