butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
