reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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