I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
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