What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize