I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
