Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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