This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
