i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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