Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize