I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize