Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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