I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
