Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
