:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
