What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
