YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Mom said you looked used
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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