so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
