i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
