she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
