Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
