My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
