Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
