Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
